I’m settled down on the sofa, coffee poured and waiting to be drunk, book in hand..... open the cover, start the first sentence...... and then it starts.
What I hear you say? Well the thing that has been blighting my reading for about 18 months. Basically every time I settle down to have a good read, my mind; instead of picturing the scenes being described on the page starts to race through a long list of things that I ‘should’ be doing. Better uses of my time, tasks that need completing.
Dinner could be prepared early for a better taste, that washing sitting in the basket could be done now instead of tomorrow, hoovering should be done everyday not every other day....... a whole list of tasks screaming at me;
“What are you doing being so lazy, how dare you sit and do nothing?”
And that you in bold is very important, because it does feel like it’s personal. Someone doesn’t think I deserve to read, to further my knowledge, hell even to just get totally absorbed into a bloody good story.
Of course that someone is me! (the mask is removed, the music builds and the audience gasps). The question is why am I stopping my self from taking time out to read, write and generally discover new things?
As I see it there are 2 roads that could be taken here:
The first being that some part of me doesn’t want me to read, for fear of what I might discover (possibly) but lets face it I’m not reading secret files!
The second is that it could be a result of living in a culture that places a high emphasis on what people have achieved; saying well today I read a really good book doesn’t really compare to saying: the front room was decorated, a four course meal was prepared, the curtains went to the dry cleaners, 3 hours of working from home (unpaid)........
But why should I feel guilty about feeding the soul, what’s wrong with getting home from a long day at work and spending some time focusing on doing some thing I want to do? Ok so when I have finished a book, you can’t see a result of what has been achieved but does that really matter?
Well from now on I’ll say: “listen here me, I’m going to sit down and take time out to feed my soul and there’s nothing you can do about it!”
That will undoubtedly be a conversation worth hearing (and seeing).